Weekends are fun

Apr28
2008 Kristi Written by Kristi

On Friday afternoon, we were both pretty fried from an overly stressful week.  So we hopped in the car and drove to Monterey.  Traffic was bad but as soon as we got past I-5, things got better.  The weather was gorgeous and because we were there late enough, the crowds had gone away.  We drove 17 Mile Drive and watched the sunset over Bird Rock.  It was gorgeous.  We walked on the beach at Asilomar and I think Rob truly loves California now. 

We got home late Friday and slept really late on Saturday.  After puttering around, we finally broke out the BBQ and got it cleaned up for the summer.  I found an awesome grilled chicken recipe and we had a great early dinner on the patio.  I cannot wait for summer to be here so we can relax and do that all the time. 

Yesterday, we ran errands.  Mostly browsing for stuff for the backyard.  We are thinking of putting in a fountain or some type of water feature back there so we went to the water garden place north of town and wandered around.  We found something we like but it’s a matter of the money now.  We stopped at the nursery on the way home and got some new plants for the pots on the front porch. 

Posted in Everyday Life

Ruminating

Apr25
2008 Kristi Written by Kristi
To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep:
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to,–‘t is a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub:
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover’d country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.

 

William Shakespeare, “Hamlet”, Act 3 scene 1

Posted in Everyday Life

Wedding Update

Apr25
2008 Rob Written by Rob

Hey, all. Just a few updates.

The invitations are back from the printers, and they look wonderful. We got them all assembled, addressed and stamped last night (about 100 invitations in all, inviting about 160 people) and as soon as we get them all gummed up we’ll get them into the mail. Most guests should receive their invitations next week.

We’re doing a second round of engagement photos on Monday afternoon, at nearby La Loma Park. While the first round certainly were good, Aaron came back and asked if we’d be willing to do a second – he didn’t get the shots he really wanted. So we’re considering going more casual for the second shoot, jeans and everyday wear and that sort of thing. We’ll post proofs when we get them back.

The week-of is coming together. Guests begin arriving in Modesto on July 1, mainly to spend some social time with us and to help out in any way they can with the wedding. You guys have no idea how much we appreciate this: travelling long distances (some from as far as 3000 miles, and possibly one or two from as far as 6000) to attend, first of all, but then coming a bit earlier and staying through it all to help the event go smoothly. We love you guys, and are very grateful to know that we have friends and family that we can truly rely on.

The rehearsal dinner is on the 3rd, and then we will all be gathering for a 4th of July celebration at her parents’ home on Friday. Then the event itself will be on Saturday. Then, once we see everyone safely back home on Sunday, Kristi and I will take off on our honeymoon. Latest plan: a night at a nice hotel in San Francisco, followed by a road trip along the California coast.

We still have the cake to do, yet. The dress should be here in a few weeks. But almost everything else is sorted and ready to go.

We’re just very happy to have the such beautiful invitations going out. Jen really outdid herself – another valued friend we know we can rely on.

Posted in Wedding

The House of Fate, cont.

Apr23
2008 Rob Written by Rob

Some time back, I posted this Emerson quote on R&K. At the time, things were weighing heavily on my mind – the choices we make, why we do things, how eventually we become the product of our own choices. Whether we want to or not.

“But these shocks and ruins are less destructive to us, than the stealthy power of other laws which act upon us daily. An expense of ends to means is fact; — organization tyrannizing over character. The menegerie, of forms and powers of the spine, is a book of fate: the bill of the bird, the skull of the snake, determines tyrannically its limits. So is the scale of races, of temperaments; so is sex; so is climate; so is the reaction of talents imprisoning the vital power in certain directions. Every spirit makes its house; but afterwards the house confines the spirit.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Fate”, 1860

Two days ago, a 44-year-old man died in an Orlando bathroom. Neither of us knew him personally; I only knew of him. He very nearly almost married one of my best friends, almost ten years ago now. He had problems, even then, but as I’d heard the story, over the years since he’d steadily been rolling downhill. Burning bridges, antagonizing friends and family, finally settling into a very unhappy marriage and a serious alcohol problem. My friend stayed close with his family, and so she received news updates every so often about him and how his life was going.

He made a lot of bad choices. A lot of them. By the time they found him, he’d just about hit the end anyway. His family couldn’t stand him; no wife, kids, or prospects; no career to speak of; no real education; a substance abuse problem. Right now we don’t know whether it was natural causes, or if he took his own life. Even if it was natural, though, there are many ways to speed one’s exit from this world if one is so inclined. No matter how you cut it, he became the product of his own shortsighted choices.

It’s just so sad.

He’s been a regular topic of conversation around here this week. No one deserves to die like that: alone, miserable, still young and out of options. It’s caused us both to reflect on our own choices, people we’ve known, how lots of little decisions all led us to this place in time. And how grateful we are for the lives we have.

Posted in Everyday Life
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