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Small Steps, Big Footprints

Feb12
2008
Rob Written by Rob

Mind if I tell you a story?

About three years ago I landed an assignment with a regional Florida magazine. The ME (Managing Editor) was new and she had a problem. The owner of the magazine had sobered up enough to actually remember an article idea that a golfing buddy of his was sure that the magazine had to cover. So the owner stomped into the fledgling ME’s office, told her to get a story done on “strawberry schools”, and then wandered back off to the golf course.

She passed it off to me. She had no idea what “strawberry schools” were. Neither did I, but that’s why magazines hire writers: to go figure it out and explain it to others. It took about three weeks of research with the USF history department and driving around rural east Hillsborough County before I was able to figure out what the heck a strawberry school was. The term referred to prewar rural primary schools in Florida, whose annual schedules was timed to coincide with the strawberry harvest. These schools for farming kids generally offered a lower standard of education than metropolitan schools until the state standardized the Florida school system in 1947.

The basic story was easy to get. A few phone calls and a web search got me that. Harder to get was the real story – not just the academic version, the dry tale of Floridian school modernization, but an actual story of real people in real conflict who actually cared about the battle fought over the strawberry schools. After three weeks I hadn’t found anything like that, and so I’d begun to despair of having any chance of writing a decent piece.

Finally in desperation I took a day, hopped in my little Toyota Camry (that didn’t have A/C) and drove down to the little town of Turkey Creek, Florida. Most of the strawberry schools were long gone; only a small few made the difficult transition to the modern school era. Turkey Creek Elementary was one of them. It was a long shot and I knew it, but it was all I had, so I packed a tripod, digital camera and tape recorder and went hunting.

As it turns out, I got lucky that day. The school secretary at Turkey Creek knew a local man who collected history of the area, particularly of the original Turkey Creek strawberry school. He was amazingly helpful with information, photos and interviews with surviving students and teachers. Best of all, the building itself was still intact; the schoolhouse, dating back to 1899, had been refurbished and restored and stood in a corner of the grounds of the modern Turkey Creek Elementary.

The doors had been closed and locked for years. Even though the building had been restored, the locals had been fighting with Hillsborough County (seated in Tampa) for funding to reopen it as a school library. They’d been fighting unsuccessfully for almost ten years. It was ironic; sixty years had passed, and it was all still the same rural/city conflict that I was writing about. It made for a good story – I told a brief history of the building and ended it on a short coda about the fight to reopen the building as a historic landmark. I submitted the piece, it ran in the next issue, I got paid, I moved on.

About a year later, I got a phone call from Sonny – the local historian who helped me so much with researching the piece – with some news. I hadn’t spoken with Sonny since I’d finished the article. Anyway, turned out that the building finally got funding, and that there were a lot of very happy people in Turkey Creek. Years of fighting the county had finally paid off and everyone involved in Turkey Creek were enjoying the victory. I congratulated Sonny and told him that I was happy to hear the great news. That’s when Sonny told me the rest.

Turns out that when the article ran, the locals liked it so much that they took another run at the county seat to get the funding. When the moment of decision came, someone dropped my article on a county commission conference table to make the point that their school was getting statewide media attention. Someone then read the article and next thing we knew, the library had its funding. Ten years of unsuccessful battling with the county finally hit a victory, thanks to something that I had written.

It was a revelation to me. And not a little bit scary. Up until that point I’d thought of myself as basically a guy who wrote things and then sold them; I’d never really considered any particular moral aspect to what I was doing, and it never occurred to me that I was actually impacting the world around me. That was a humbling experience, one that completely changed how I thought about writing. How I thought about morality and ethics in general. To realize that a relatively small effort can make such a large impact – positive or negative – on other people is to learn how to step softly and walk carefully. Because small steps can still leave big footprints.

Last few days, I’ve been thinking about that a lot. Why people do what they do. The consequences of shortsighted intentions and selfish motives. Bigger pictures, larger roles, deeper truths and wider importances. And about the need to tread lightly but confidently – because while making a false step can bring pain, refusing to accept responsibility for your footsteps only condemns you to an existence of meaningless, clumsy blundering. And condemns everyone else in your midst as well.

It’s just a shame that some people don’t see that choosing not to decide is still a choice. Responsibility lands regardless.

The House of Fate

Feb10
2008
Rob Written by Rob

“But these shocks and ruins are less destructive to us, than the stealthy power of other laws which act upon us daily. An expense of ends to means is fact; — organization tyrannizing over character. The menegerie, of forms and powers of the spine, is a book of fate: the bill of the bird, the skull of the snake, determines tyrannically its limits. So is the scale of races, of temperaments; so is sex; so is climate; so is the reaction of talents imprisoning the vital power in certain directions. Every spirit makes its house; but afterwards the house confines the spirit.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Fate”, 1860



“There is no way this winter is ever going to end, as long as that groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don’t see any way out of it. He’s got to be stopped. And I have to stop him.”

– Phil Connors (played by Bill Murray), “Groundhog Day”, 1993

Blah

Feb07
2008
Kristi Written by Kristi

People who have known me for a long time know that I used to be big into drama.  I created it when I could, I loved being in the midst of some overblown angst.  And then I turned 16.  I’m not saying I’ve never been in the middle of some serious drama over the years because I really, really have.  Some my own making, some just circumstances I wouldn’t get myself out of.  But now?  I hate drama.  Maybe it’s years of teaching teenagers or just dealing with some of the day in, day out goings on as an expat when I was in London. 

If I learned anything when I lived in England it was how to deal with stress and how NOT to deal with stress.  Being friends with Laura helped me with that because even in the middle of an intense storm, she’s peaceful.  Part of that is her faith, part of that is her marriage.  But drama is not something Laura does, which is one of the reasons I value her advice and opinion so highly.  But I digress.

 The last few days have been a lot of drama with family.  As Rob said, it’s ridiculous and now it’s become a burden that we have to extricate ourselves from.  I hate having to put distance between us and family because my family is one of the most important parts of my life.  However, my mental stability and our relationship are higher priorities for both of us than making sure people don’t get their feelings hurt.  That may sound selfish but right now, it feels like self-preservation. 

Still missing London.

“Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.”

-Samuel Johnson

 

 

Posted in Family and Friends

Family Circles

Feb07
2008
Rob Written by Rob

Sorry we haven’t updated in the last week. It was my turn and I kept promising Kristi I’d do it soon, and one by one the days slipped away.

Things are going well. We got the tuxes sorted out and taken care of. Her veil arrived today and sits waiting to be picked up. We’ve chosen the rings and are preparing to buy them in the next week or so. Business is picking up; it’s only the sixth and I’ve already logged two-thirds of my hour quota for the month (we love paying contracts around here). Slowly the big stress hairball that was December is receding and we’re settling into a comfortable, peaceful domestic life.

The weekend was busy, but a good busy. Saturday we made good on a promise to Kristi’s parents and drove over to the local Salvation Army Child Development Center. They had eight or nine computers in unknown working order, scattered in disarray around the building; Kristi and I went over, checked them out and cleaned them up and got them working again for the preschool there. Luckily they were all very salvagable, most having nothing at all wrong with them – they’d just suffered some neglect over time, but nothing that couldn’t be quickly mended.

On Sunday we went over to the Jepsons’ house for their Super Bowl party. It was a blast – lots of great food, a dozen of the Jepson’s best friends eating, joking, laughing at commercials, venting at political ads, and trying to mentally will a football up and down an Arizona astroturf. And as you probably know, it was a great game. It was just a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Driving home that evening, Kristi and I were talking about family. Namely, our families. She has a huge circle of family both biological and extended – three generations of relatives in the same town, many in the same church, and a wide circle of friends that includes many who have known Kristi all her life. It’s a circle that to my eyes just seems to widen and widen, and there’s something awfully comforting in that: there’s this vast support structure here that is utterly unlike anything I knew in my own life before meeting her. Don and Kathy and everyone else in that circle have gone out of their way to welcome me into their midst, and I appreciate that. It’s calm and peaceful and stable and sane, and I’m getting to really like it a lot.

Sometimes it seems like my own family circle, rather than spreading out, just keeps going round and round. Over the same territories, over the same bumps, over the same pointless nonsense, never even noticing that it’s not actually getting anywhere. The contrast between the two family experiences is jarring for both of us; it’s forced us both to examine our own lives a bit more objectively and to better assess what we each underappreciate and overindulge. And brought us each to ask how much of either family experience we want to bring into our new marriage, not to mention the lives of our future children.

That’s been a particular issue this week as a simmering situation in the greater Warren clan has threatened to explode into a full-blown drama down in Florida. Pointless nonsense. The same round-and-rounds. The same trip around the same circle for the same reasons and heading to the same places, and it doesn’t need to be but it will anyway. Because that’s what my family does: they go round in circles, never leaving nor arriving, probably until the end of time. It’s all just such a waste, because it doesn’t have to be that way. It can stop. But people have to be willing to stop it, and they’re not. And so they take another trip around.

I told Kristi the other night, as we discussed and reflected on the situation, that more than anything that’s why I came here. Why I asked her to marry me. Why I love her. In addition to all her wonderful qualities – and she has many – Kristi offered me something that no one had credibly offered before: hope. Hope that marriage and children and family and friends could all be happy and healthy things. Hope that people can be who they appear to be, and can be honest and caring without some sort of ulterior motive behind it. Hope that there was a real way off the endless roundabout.

That hope is a fragile thing. A sacred thing. A thing worth working, fighting and sacrificing greatly to protect. For some reason Kristi saw fit to entrust it to my care. I’m deeply honored by that, and intend to live up to that honor best I can.

Posted in Family and Friends, Wedding, Work
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