So break my step and relent
You forgave and I won’t forget
Know what we’ve seen and him with less
Now in some way shake the excess
But I will wait, I will wait for you.

Sometimes.. sometimes there is a song that reaches into exactly how I’ve been feeling and shakes me.  I hit repeat and let it wash over my thoughts.

But I’ll kneel down, wait for now
I’ll kneel down, know my ground
Raise my hands, paint my spirit gold
And bow my head, keep my heart slow

The last 5 weeks have been a lesson in waiting and being bold.  It’s terrifying and comforting at the same time.  I have no idea how to make sense of it with words.  But there it is.  I’ve been frustrated, relieved, incredulous, annoyed and just plain confused.  But I will keep waiting for the answers to come because I know they will.  I don’t pretend to know the way forward; in fact, all I’ve said for the last month is that I don’t know what comes next.  But there is no rushing past God, no manufactured crisis or manipulation that can out-maneuver what He has planned.

So for now, we wait.

So I’ll be bold, as well as strong
And use my head alongside my heart.
So take my flesh and fix my eyes
That tethered mind free from the lies.