About Kristi: Rob’s List

Because it’s only fair.

In San Diego, Andy asked us what initially turned us on to each other. You know, the moment we knew. I’ll admit: Kristi knew before I did, but only because I think I brought more trust issues into the relationship than she did. At the start, though, I was attracted to her wit, particularly in written form. She knew how to use words and had the education and cultural background to go with them. That lured me in.

Beyond that, I learned before long that I could trust her. She was never anything but completely candid about who she was and where she came from and what she wanted from life. Being with someone comfortably honest was somewhat of a new concept for me; with very, very few exceptions, the women of my life have tended to be passive-aggressive, manipulating, often lying, and neatly packaged with a metric ton of personal issues. (That’s not meant as a swipe against women in general – only the ones I’ve gravitated towards in past. After a while I just stopped trusting my taste in women, gave up and got on with my life.) You just have no idea how important that trust is to me.

Since those early days, I’ve found all sorts of reasons to love Kristi and to be honored to become her spouse:

• She’s financially responsible. She sometimes thinks she’s not, but she is. When a bill’s a day late, she gets jumpy. When a credit card balance is a bit high for the month (even with good reason), she’s ready to call out emergency measures. She owns her own house, paid her own way through grad school and today has a stellar credit record.
• She has a strong sense of family responsibility. Kristi comes from a big, closely knit family of some really good people. It’s been my pleasure and honor to come to know many of them since arriving in Modesto. Her family is incredibly important to her and she would do anything for them. I like that a lot.
• She’s adventurous. I mean, you’d have to be, to want to marry a freelance writer – it’s not exactly the most predictable line of work to be in. Kristi once moved to London and lived there for a few years while getting her Masters. And she came out all the way to Orlando just to meet a schlump like me. I’m a homebody; she’s the one who occasionally insists on a road trip. San Francisco. San Diego. Alaska. Wherever. She keeps life interesting.
• She has a sense of perspective. I didn’t grow up with a whole lot of clear perspective in my life; often, life was one manufactured (and often imagined) crisis after another, and that sticks with a guy into adulthood. Kristi’s good at judging what is worth worrying about and what isn’t.
• She loves animals. Without blinking, she accepted two cats – one with a serious medical condition – into her home and into her heart. She was willing to get a new dog door, install a gate, close off the office and tolerate cat messes in the bathroom. Today Kristi treats Tuck and Ruca as every bit of the family member that Sam is.
• She’s patient. Again, she’d have to be – or a little crazy – to marry a writer.
• She’s dedicated to her work. For too many people, it’s just a job. Going to work. Logging your eight and going home. Kristi’s very dedicated to her role as a teacher, to her students and to school improvement. While it frustrates her when some colleagues don’t share her sense of commitment, education is who she is. For her, it’s a calling.
• She’s very protective and loyal. She calls it her “Momma Bear”. She’s very sweet and gentle and peaceful until someone she loves comes under threat, and then it’s on. She’ll be a wonderful mother.
• She’s loving. We both have our moods and bad days. Everyone does. But I know where her heart is, because she constantly reminds me – hugs, kisses, a word at the right time. Just being there.
• She’s accepting. This is probably the biggest one of all. We’ve both had to do a lot of adapting in the time we’ve been together. We both had to make big changes in our lifestyles. But in all that time, I’ve never once had the sense that Kristi wanted to mold me into someone I wasn’t. She’s always just accepted me for who I am, blemishes and all.

The list could go on, but I need to work today. I could be writing this all day and still not be done with it.

Love you, darlin’.