Last night, we were watching something on TV and these ads for the USO kept coming on. I get easily irritated by repeat commercials and usually, we end up mocking them. Now, please don’t be offended by the rest of this post, especially if you are a flag waving American. As a repatriated expat, I’m hardly a flag waver. I don’t even like saying the Pledge of Allegiance at school. But I digress.
The ad we saw was for sending care packages to our troops overseas and how the USO makes a difference to those serving. And that led to a snide repartee between us about what we would send in a well-intentioned care package from someone in the Midwest with a lot of crap to give away to some needy soldier.
- a Gideon Bible
- a Reader’s Digest from 2006
- Avon lotion
- a single blade disposable razor
- Spanish language tapes
- one AA battery of questionable charge
- mechanical pencils, sans lead
- a pencil sharpener without the razor blades (you can’t mail sharps overseas!!)
- a crocheted scarf and mittens (matching and preferably purple)
- Christmas ornament hooks
- circle dot stickers used for price tags at yard sales (varying colors)
- a mostly dry Sharpie
- a Spring Break 1996 t-shirt (from Daytona Beach and made of netting)
- expired coupons for Pampers
- a box of paper clips
- blank CDs
- ungummed envelopes
- a subscription to Prevention
- king sized flannel sheets (Iraq is cold in December!)
- a 500 count pack of emery boards
- a Budweiser mirror
- a copy of “The Deer Hunter” on Betamax
Yes, we are bad. We are unpatriotic. We mock TV. We will probably burn in hell. But let’s face it, the ridiculous nature of the war, the ongoing election hullabaloo is tiresome. As unnecessary as our own care package may be, we pray it ends soon.