I read this article recently and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t convicted by it. We said many times in 2012 that we were blessed to be successful during a recession. But when 2013 came around and we were knocked to the ground, were we still blessed? Did God decide to hate us now?
No, of course not. But we did need to be broken, humbled, and reminded of the unpredictability of life. I never spent more time praying than I have in the last year. Praying for a check to arrive so we could buy groceries. Praying for peace about money. Praying for my husband who was fighting the hardest battle in his head. Praying we would have peace about being provided for. And usually the answer to my prayers was “Yes.” Sometimes it was “Not today.” Not once was the answer “No.”
There’s peace about money today, peace about my lovely husband, peace about being provided for in the middle of the raging storm. But sometimes when I least expect it, the anger of the last 18 months crops up. I don’t always know what will trigger it but it’s there. Still boiling underneath some scar tissue. And I’m forced back to my knees, to pray, to remember that we are not blessed any more than anyone else.
What we are is grateful. Grateful for my parents, Rob’s uncle, aunt, and grandma, for work that challenges us and allows us to support ourselves, for friends who laugh and cry with us, for our pets who think we are awesome, for a new church where we are encouraged and loved –bruises, scars and all. It’s humbling and joyous at the same time.