Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. -James 1:2-4
There are times when it feels like I’m just treading water with my nose and mouth just above the surface. Today is one of those times. I’m tired and it feels like I can’t do much right. On a rational level, I know this isn’t true but when I dig down, it’s all brittle and all I’m doing is spinning the plates. I keep looking back and thinking, “Is this as bad as 2013? 2009?” I don’t know. Probably not but in the middle of the storm, it all seems perilous.
I’m trying to remember the things to be thankful for: family, friends, our animals and trying not to dwell on my fears. I remember friends who are facing their crumbling marriages, another friend who is dying from cancer, leaving his wife and 3 children. Rob and I have always said if a problem can be solved with money, it’s not really a problem. It doesn’t always help, especially when people are demanding their pound of flesh but it reminds me to keep things in perspective.
In more optimistic news, Eden is settling in and the cats have decided she’s not evil. She’s 
basically potty trained and at some point, she’ll stop hating her crate. We missed having a dog and I’ve struggled a bit with not feeling guilty for bringing in a new dog to our family. It’s as if I’ve felt having a new dog would somehow mean we stopped missing Sam or could replace him. Those feelings have faded mostly but they occasionally rear up again.
