Before you go any further in reading this post, please watch this video. It’s a clip from South Park, where Randy Marsh has an unfortunate experience as a Wheel of Fortune contestant, much to the chagrin and outrage of the world at large.
Watched it? Got the joke? Good. Now let’s move on.
2015 seems to be the year of the Offended Offender, at least on Facebook anyway. You’ve probably seen this as often as I have, often from friends and family and other people whom you hold in high esteem otherwise. The motto of the Offended Offender varies, but often includes “If you’re OFFENDED, then don’t READ MY POSTS!” and “I’d say what I REALLY think, but someone would be OFFENDED.” The more complex version of said motto seems to be, “I’m sure someone will be offended at this, BUT..” followed by some of the most offensive vitriol imaginable.
Pick your topic. Confederate flag? Check. Guns? Check. Racism? Check, check, check and more checks. The place of women in society and/or the workplace? Lotsa checks. Anything involving gays or transgenders? The page isn’t big enough to hold all those checks.
We each have our hot buttons. Mine are guns and racism, with the Confederate flag interestingly making a comeback on my list this year. That just comes from growing up in the South, and knowing better than most that the much-touted “heritage, not hate” argument is true. The only problem is, that heritage is one rooted in white supremacy.. but that’s a different R&K post for another time.
And for the record, the Offended Offender has in recent times had to contend with a rapidly shifting landscape of complex public opinion that was simpler many years ago, at least for them. And some of the political correctness memes floating around out there are of questionable social utility: “microaggressions”, hypersensitive identity politics, language abuse, trigger warnings, etc. have all in one way or another been deployed both in genuine progressive advance and in the idiotic glorification of nonvictim “victims”. I don’t dispute that point at all.
Note that I’m not necessarily criticizing any of those ideas or trends as inherently stupid or bad, only that (like everything else in life) they tend to be abused most by stupid people.
So.
No doubt, some of you reading this feel like you’re regularly attacked (microaggressed, even?) by people who are easily offended by things you say or write online. Some of you may even feel like one of those attackers has been me. Okay. I can cope with that.
But you need to understand something. When you say offensive things, the appropriate response from civilized, mature, intelligent adults is to be offended.
When you start a statement with “I’m not racist/bigoted/homophobic/misogynistic/whatever, BUT..” that means you’re racist, bigoted, homophobic, misogynistic or whatever. You don’t get a free pass because you posted a three word disclaimer and a comma before shooting your mouth off.
When you go off on a tear comparing President Obama to a Muslim chimpanzee, and then follow that up with how you support the police in their ongoing war against the ungrateful and lazy black man, it doesn’t matter if you then talk about how much you love your token black friend. You’re a racist.
When you post lots of shit about how emotional, unstable, silly women make bad decisions at work – or attract dangerous wildlife – when they’re having their period, you’re a misogynist.
When you post crap about how we need to stop lazy illegal immigrants from getting welfare, because we all know that Mexicans are drug runners and rapists, yeah, you’re a racist.
When you can’t resist the urge to rant against those sin-loving gays who want to round up all the good Christian folks into concentration camps and turn them queer, you’re both a homophobe and an idiot.
The list goes on, but they all boil down to one thing:
You’re an asshole.
Or at least, you’re being one.
I can’t speak for everyone you meet, but your words don’t offend me. They just don’t. I’m not impressed by your rhetoric. I write for a living; every single day, I’m sitting at my desk, playing around with nouns and verbs and all their lesser relatives, experimenting to see how they combine into new and more interesting thoughts. On that level, I’m offended by bad grammar and lazy spelling, but not much else. I’m really not offended by what you just wrote.
What I’m offended by is that it seems to be an accurate reflection of what you think, feel and are. Because, see, I like you. I can’t easily dismiss you, because I do hold you in fairly high esteem in every other way, but every time you do this, I get a glimpse into a side of you that diminishes that. You become a little less likable, a bit more damaged, and a touch harder to trust and take seriously.
I’m offended at the tarnish you just thoughtlessly put on our relationship.
No one’s trying to take away your right to be a public ass. Knock yourself out. Freedom of speech is alive and well, but if you want to get offended that someone else got offended, it’s time for you to join the microaggression brigade. Because you’ve become the very thing you claim to rail most against.
And you’re still an asshole. Or, at least, you’re being one.
I want to believe you’re just being one.
YES.