Um. Hmm.

The last few weeks have been a blur.  I’ve struggled with depression for the last several years and even though life is good, I sometimes get down, moody and downright morose.  I beat myself up for not being a good enough teacher, wife, friend, daughter.  And then the cloud will lift and the ship rights itself.  Still in the midst of a bit of listing.

Things that are currently annoying me:

• Sarah Palin.  Good grief, are people seriously drinking the Republican kool-aid?  She frightens me more than her political pandering running mate McCain.  I haven’t felt so strongly about a Presidential election in recent years, mostly as a result of living abroad.  I will have no desire to stay in America if the Republican whack jobs of late are returned to power.  There’s fiscal and political conservatism and then there’s downright scary.
• My dog.  Don’t get me wrong, I love, love, LOVE my dog.  But he has been a right pain in the butt to Tuck of late, guarding the entrance to the bedroom so that no one else of the mammal variety can pass him.  He woke me up 4 times on Wednesday night with his barking attack on the cat.  Seriously Dog. Enough.
• The heat.  I’m sick of having the A/C on, the fan on, wearing shorts and sandals.  Really.  I miss London summers that last a few weeks and then are done.  I want it to be autumn.  I want walk around with my husband and crunch leaves under foot.  I want to smell the crisp morning air, the occasional fireplace burning.  I’m ready to bake bread again, to have soup and curl up with a blanket.
• Hurricanes.  I married a Floridian.  I now know what this site is and seriously, it’s enough already.
• Cat pee.  No need to explain anymore.
• Weeds.  Everywhere.  In my backyard.
• Colleagues.  Now, let me explain this one.  Normally, I love my department.  But this week, I want to smack a few of them.  We’ve had long, long meetings about being a bit more unified in our grading policies and we all agreed.  Except one who had “serious reservations” about having our policies be the same.  And the meeting we had which was supposed to last an hour lasted an hour but we didn’t even get the any other items on the agenda.  And then there’s the “Man Club”.  Obviously, based on name alone, I’m excluded from this.  It’d be nice to be included but I’m missing a vital organ.  However, today. Sigh. Today it was abundantly clear that as much as I consider my colleagues to be friends, I’m not as important because I’m a girl.  I won’t ever be included. And that’s a bit of a drag.
• Ants.  We have them.
• Internet drama.  There’s so much more to life than dealing with petty crap.
• Having a dirty house.  It just never ends.  Add 2 cats, a dog and hardwood floors to the household mix, there is no staying on top of it. Ever.

Yeah, I’m a bit irritable.  I’m exhausted with GATE stuff, running around trying to get everything done.  Oh yeah and that whole teaching thing.  I’m teaching a new prep this year (sort of) and while I have good kids, I don’t feel like I’m doing right by them.  Because I’m busy. Because I’m exhausted.  Because there’s not enough time in the day for me to do everything I need to get done.  Because, because, because.