Another Day In The Freelance Life

Okay, I have a story to share with you guys, but first I want to share a video.

So that having been said, click through for the latest exciting chapter in Freelance Fiascoes!

Okay, “fiasco” is a bit of a strong word. But I needed to do something to get you to click through. 🙂

It’s been a weird year for the business, but gradually things are starting to make sense. We’re basically being forced to chase down the big fish, because all the little fish are either starving or have been eaten already. That’s not necessarily a bad thing; the big budget jobs are fewer and farther between, but those clients are highly reliable payers and tend to be easy to work with. And after all the trouble we had last year with a string of small business bottom feeders, I can’t say that drawing corporate work has hurt us. We’re actually marginally ahead of where we were last year at this time, in terms of gross billable revenues. *knock on wood*

So about three months ago I get a nibble from this web design firm in Ireland. They say they’re quoting out a website overhaul job for a big food company in Northern California and they need an experienced local copywriter to help with the written content; I’m apparently nearby and seem to be an ideal fit. They tell me that !!!OMG!!! they need the quote like right now because !!OMG!! they’re going to submit “final costings” to this client on the following day and they need some final numbers. Rush, rush, rush, EMERGENCY!!

Sigh. Against my better judgment I give a VERY rough ballpark estimate, nearly sight unseen (with lots of caveats, of course). And then I don’t hear another word from them.

Fast forward three months. On Monday I get an email from this design firm, telling me that they’ve narrowed their copywriter choices to a shortlist; the client has reviewed portfolios and is finally ready – hold for it – to make a DECISION! They just need some writing samples, so here’s their website, if you could send us some sample rewritten pages of copy that’d be great. And, oh yeah, we !!!OMG!!! need it in 24 hours!!

And I’m, like, you have to be frakking kidding me. First, I don’t do free samples – sorry, but that’s what my portfolio is for, and besides the process isn’t one that can typically be done cold, without client input. Second, nothing gets done in 24 hours, much less on spec garbage I’m not being paid for. So I write back and tell them that the 24-hour thing is a nonstarter (sorry, other clients, other projects, and they’re PAYING), and oh by the way, how much did you guys budget to pay for these “samples”?

He writes back. If you can’t get it in 24 hours, he says, we still need it ASAP because the client plans to make a decision this week. He pointedly makes no mention of my payment question.

(Now what “John” doesn’t know is that I believe in early information. By this point I knew who the client was, had done background research on them, and had even called their corporate offices and had a short chat with the admin assistant in their marketing department. They are a rather large company, making $150M in sales last year. I got the very basic scoop on their website overhaul situation and have a fairly good idea of who there is involved. I also knew that in the last few days, several individuals at this large food company downloaded my portfolio – I’m obviously on a short list. Gotta love web logs and IP tracing.)

So I write back again: 24 hours, nonstarter. How much are you paying?

He replies some time later. Tells me that there’s no budget for the samples, and that if I wish to be considered for this gig, my sending them free work is “to be expected as part of the pitch process”. He reiterates that they need these samples NOW.

I take a deep breath and, cribbing the sentiments of the above Harlan Ellison video, write back the following:

John,

According to my records, [NAME REDACTED] first contacted me about this client back on February 17. She asked me then for a price quote, which I gave. At the time the project timeline was estimated at 2-4 weeks, the scope at 50 content pages and 10 corporate information pages; you were in search of an experienced local copywriter who also knew their way around SEO technique (which I do). Ms. [NAME] mentioned in her initial email that you were submitting final costings by 2/18. I sent the requested info and received no response from [NAME]. Given who the client turned out to be and the size of the project, my quote was extremely reasonable.

This was THREE MONTHS AGO. Plenty of time for any decision making process to run its course. But now – suddenly – you’re turning up on my doorstep wanting me to write stuff for you for free, demanding to have it in 24 hours, all while telling me that I’m on a list of lucky copywriter candidates that may (or may not) ultimately be hired.

The folks at [CLIENT NAME] downloaded my writing samples PDF from my website just the other day. They have plenty of samples to work with already; this portfolio should be more than enough to allow them to evaluate my writing style and range.

As a matter of policy, I don’t give away for free the equivalent of hundreds or thousands of dollars of billable time in the form of free samples, especially when I know that there are other copywriters under review as well. I really don’t care if it is “expected to be done” – that’s not my problem. It’s unprofessional. Seriously: would you ask that of a doctor? A car mechanic? A plumber? How much free work would *you* do for a prospect prior to getting a deposit and signed contract? Are you currently even under contract with [CLIENT NAME]? Or is all this part if *your* pitch process?

[CLIENT NAME] of [NEARBY CITY] draws almost $150 million a year in sales. They’re not out there with a cane, dark glasses and begging cup. I’d be happy to talk with their marketing team about the copywriting process and how I may best be able to help with this project. I’m even willing to structure the project in a way that minimizes their risks.

But no, you’re not getting free work.

Best,

Rob

There comes a point where you’re, like, fine: if you want to play that, then what I’ll do is tell you what I REALLY think, and let you screw up. Then I’ll send the client some business cards myself. When they hit ground with you guys, at least they’ll know where they can find a real copywriter. I assumed that was it, that I’d never hear from this web design firm again.

Wrong.

I got an email this morning asking for price quotes on writing samples.

I’ll send them, but in my own sweet time. Gotta think first how best to play this. That they’re even talking to us after that email rant of mine says a lot about their situation, so I have to think a bit about how to best play the upper hand. Besides, I have a 1pm call with a commercial real estate broker in Colorado to discuss revisions on their brochure, plus I’ve got dishes to wash and laundry to start. The Irish Moron Brigade can wait.

Oh, and we’ve apparently gotten the attention of the marketing folks at British Telecom. So there.

[Update 5/22. I sent them a basic quote for doing their “sample”, once again thinking I’d never hear from them again. This morning I woke to an email counteroffering my quote, putting in at a little below my estimate. Unbelievable. I’m thinking about going ahead and doing the job – what the hell, this would be a good name in my portfolio and they’d be paying up front. Will update as things happen.]