It’s no secret or surprise to anyone who knows me well, that I love to travel. I love the planning, the itinerary building, new adventures, packing. It’s been a delicate balance being married to someone who is most definitely a homebody. There are times when I just want to take off and GO but ever the pragmatist, Rob reminds me that we can’t just leave.
The last few months have been difficult but not in the eviscerating way 2009 was. We lost Samson but the rest of our family and our pets are well. We are in good health. We have a solid marriage, great friends. But there’s this underlying sadness, fear for the future, for the present. I try to remind myself to trust that we will be provided for and mostly, I am aware of how much we have and how little we need.
I told Rob today I’ve been thinking about who I want to be in my 40s. My 30s were so transforming: I moved abroad, got married, changed careers, opened a business. What do I want to be when I’m 50? I want to be interesting. I want to be loving, healthy, content, strong. I want to be successful and I want to have good stories to relay. I want to be a good wife and a reliable friend. A work in progress, for sure.